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Having Difficult Conversations
Having courageous conversations at work is one of the most challenging tasks of the
leaders’ role.
Whilst much is made of the importance of honest, real-time feedback and authentic
conversations at work, few of us know how to do this well. Leaders and staff generally
know what they are supposed to do, even what they should do, but actually doing it means enduring
increased levels of anxiety about the imagined outcomes of really being honest. Of course
the contradiction is that staff at all levels privately know how they are performing and
behaving at work and want our leaders and colleagues to be honest with us!
'Difficult Conversations’ are often necessary in situations where performance is being
managed, but they are not limited to this. Typical scenarios for difficult conversations are:
- Performance management and performance feedback,
- Confronting inappropriate behaviour,
- Disagreeing with the majority in a group,
- Dealing with management peers and managing up,
- Saying 'NO' and apologising.
There are many more scenarios and situations that require us to have difficult conversations
at work. So why don’t we do it? We can be concerned about doing it ‘properly’ and not
hurting others. We can be unaware of how our own feelings impact on the conversation,
and be either too passive or too aggressive. We can be confused about just what to say,
how and when to say it. But mainly we tend to be concerned about being 'nice' and not
upsetting others.
‘Having Difficult Conversations’ is a program designed to help you work out what to say
and how to say it. Whether a performance appraisal, raising a difficult issue with
a manager, or dealing with conflict with a colleague, it helps you to reflect on your
own experience of relationships at work. You will learn to consider the impact that you have on others
and understand why we avoid difficult conversations. Improving these skills requires a better
understanding of self, the dynamics of work relationships, and the way in which performance
managing processes can be used to support these work relationships.
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